Watching Jess Grow **GUEST BLOG**

 
Guest Blog - What its like to be the parent of someone TTC
 

Introduction

Today it is my honour to share Path to Birth's blog with a guest writer - my mum!

Mum and I got to talking not long ago about the ripple effects infertility has on your family around you. As a parent, a friend, a partner it is an incredibly hard thing to watch someone go through. 

For my mum, I sometimes forget that I am her baby - even still at 35. I've been guilty at times of not realising how what I am experiencing might be impacting those I love as well- its incredibly hard to support someone going through fertility challenges!

Mum and I thought it might be good to share some referred experiences of infertility, to invite discussion and hopefully provide some support to all that trying to conceive (TTC) touches! 

I hope you enjoy, and share with your mum's too!!

Watching Jess Grow

My children were born with their personalities and character traits ready to go.   From the beginning Jess was a positive spirit, determined and loving. 

My mother always said that when her children reached the age of 16, there was nothing more she could teach them.   And true to this prediction, at around 16 I felt that Jess began teaching me how to live.  Watching Jess flourish is an unfailing joy;  but over the last two years I have been in awe of her endurance through the TTC journey and how she has grown. 

I am a ‘baby boomer’.  I am not comfortable with ‘social media’.  Notwithstanding this, on the iPad Jess gave me I have followed her Path to Birth ‘blog’ since its inception.  In fact, when Jess was toying with business names,  I came up with the winner:  Path to Birth. Look at it now!  Over the last year the business has blossomed and Jess has blossomed in a new way.  

I want to thank Path to Birth, but it is with mixed emotions. 

The biggest thank you is for helping Jess cope with the profound grief and loss she has experienced over the last two years.  I have never felt so inadequate and ill equipped to help.  But in Path to Birth Jess created a safe space to share feelings and experiences, information, to help others and offer hope.  

If you have read Jess’ blog from the start, she has moved from ‘battered, bruised and bewildered’ to purposeful, positive and empowered.  The blog has grown with Jess and now offers a practical, multi-layered support service - training, coaching, workshops, kits, guides. 

I am also jealous of Path to Birth.  Jess is so involved and motivated, so much in demand for coaching, blog chats or whatever they are called.  She is constantly studying, reading, expanding her knowledge and credentials.  I am scared she is growing beyond me.  And I fear I have nothing of relevance to offer.  

But, sharing Jess’ experiences through Path to Birth has opened my eyes to a new way of thinking.

I no longer fear IVF, but value it.  I see now that the journey is the thing, whether it is a TTC journey or any other.  I see that living in the moment is a gift and each challenge is an opportunity to grow.

I wonder about all the mothers like me … mothers of beautiful, clever, dynamic daughters who are on a TTC journey.  Do you feel like me – floundering, paralysed, watching on and only able to offer platitudes of encouragement and support - when your heart is being ripped out that you can’t actually fix this like you are meant to do for your child?

 I would love to hear what you have been through.  How do you stay supportive and involved ?