I always find it amazing how a single phrase can sometimes change your world. Something someone says - which might mean nothing to anyone else - has the ability to resonate to a level where it can completely flip your way of thinking.
I had this happen to me earlier this year, in a good way. I was at yoga, one of my favourite places, on a day when I needed to be there. As a group just by chance we had all just done an IVF cycle at a similar time, so we rode the wave of possibility, and disappointment together.
It was my first unsuccessful cycle. The previous cycle I got pregnant immediately, which unfortunately resulted in my second ectopic.
In hindsight I bounced back too quickly - I was still grieving the loss of my baby, and my ability to ever conceive naturally. I thought I was ok - it had worked the first time surely it would again?? I wanted to just get on with it. The success of a new pregnancy would surely erase the pain of the loss right??
When the cycle didn't work I had my BIG COLLAPSE. It was less about that cycle, and more about what had come before - I was physically and emotionally exhausted. All I could see in front of me was fog.
So here I was, in class, and we came to stand in Tadasana, Mountain Pose. My teacher said:
"We spend so much time focused on the path ahead, the mountain in front of us that we still have to climb. We forget to pause, stand on top of the mountain we have ALREADY climbed and acknowledge how far we have ALREADY come...so pause now and feel the strength in your pose, and take in your view"
In a moment I went from feeling weak and vulnerable to feeling courageous and strong.
Looking down my fertility mountain there were definitely times when:
- I'd tripped,
- Where I had to grit my teeth and drag myself forward,
- Where I momentarily collapsed head in hands and cried that I could no longer go on....
…..but I DID go on!
I stood up, pushed forward and found a strength in myself that I never knew I had.
Until that moment had not bothered to stop and acknowledge this. I'd been too busy focusing on how I'd failed, what I had done wrong, how far I still had to go.
It had not occurred to me to shift my focus and think about what I had done right, what I had learned, what I achieved and how far I had already come.
I gotta tell you the view from this part of my mountain was spectacular!!! :-)
It allowed me to change my perspective and look down and not only see what was hard but see the patches of light, times where the path felt smooth. Places where new flowers, new parts of myself had grown along the way.
How to Enjoy the View From Your Fertility Mountain:
It’s so easy to focus on what we think we do badly...but its so important to stop and acknowledge ourselves for the things we do well.
Change Your Perspective
When things are tough don’t just look at your feet or up at the steep path ahead. Shift your focus – look all around – what are you missing by honing in on the negatives only? Choosing to change our perspective gives us the power to make our view whatever we want it to be!
Remember How Far You Have Already Come
You’ve already shown yourself you have the ability to overcome many challenges. Use the strength and experience gained from previous journeys to give you the courage and conviction that you can tackle the next mountain, whatever that may be!
What's the view like on your fertility mountain?? What do you need to acknowledge yourself for??