We are all afraid of something. Fear is a constant in life. And if you are looking for a guaranteed way to turn that fear dial up Trying to Conceive (TTC) and IVF can be just the ticket!!
In TTC and IVF some are fears for the now – needles, treatments, operations and physical reactions.
Some are fears for the future – what if I don’t ever get to become a mother?
Both now and future fears can bring up fears that tap down into your very core – am I good enough??
Fear is a funny thing – it can either paralyse us or spur us into action.
When it comes to IVF the reason that we are there in the first place is so strong that it often pushes us forward.
That ‘Future’ fear – of never becoming a parent – is a great motivator to overcome those fears about the process that we are facing right now.
It’s amazing what you realise you can do and what you can overcome when you take that step forward.
I’ve come to realise if I sit around waiting for courage to show up it never does. Fear and courage are the opposite of each other – courage only comes when we take action.
The best way to truly overcome fear is to walk right into what you fear and come out the other side of it.
In saying this I’m facing a new fear at the moment. A new treatment is looming…
LIT treatment for our DQ Alpha infertility factors is hitting that fear button on a few levels:
- I’m going to be injected with my husband’s white blood cells. It’s a bit experimental and also for me individually it feels a bit invasive.
- Right now it’s the unknown!
- It’s likened to allergy skin testing in terms of the treatment and reaction. As a chronic allergy sufferer my previous experience of this has been quite uncomfortable!
- If this doesn’t work our options for going forward are quite limited (cue future fear – I might not be a mother).
So How Do I Approach Fear??
I choose my focus carefully!
I believe we are 100% responsible for three things in life:
- What we choose to focus on
- What we make what we focus on mean
- What actions we choose to take from that meaning
This fear I’m facing – I’ll be honest it paralysed me at first. I wasn’t sure if I could do it…
I made myself take a deep breath and step back from the emotion of it.
When I did this I realised I could choose to focus on the things I was afraid of within this treatment…or I could choose to focus on the reasons why this is a good thing for me to do. There are many reasons on that list too!
My new focus and list of reasons showed me I needed to say YES, push through the fear and take the action.
Balancing things out!
Fear often comes from uncertainty. Think about it, if you were 100% sure of the outcome what would you do??
Fertility challenges in themselves already have so much uncertainty. Additionally TTC can overtake and change your whole life – creating even more uncertainty.
I even this out by making sure my life is balanced. I ensure I have other areas of life that I can retreat into that are certain, safe, comfortable – my relationship, friendships, work, hobbies I enjoy.
It stops me from obsessing; feeling overwhelmed and gives me confidence!
If I am really struggling I do something to completely break my state of mind. An action or activity that can’t help but make me smile.
For me it’s usually bouncing on a trampoline, playing certain songs or heading to the park and going really high on the swing or doing cartwheels!!
I feel miles better afterward!!
What are your tips for overcoming fear while TTC?