A lot of time is spent focusing on what infertility has cost us. There are many things, its easy to do. Today I want to turn the tables to what I've gained from my fertility challenges. That's right- gained!
I started thinking about it yesterday. I decided to do some cooking to make life easier for next week. I started cooking one thing, that led to another thing...before I knew it it was midday and I was surrounded by yummy food!
It hit me - I love cooking! More than that - I love understanding what food I'm putting into my cooking, and why.
This might not sound like much of a revolution, but its coming from a girl who spent most of her 20s and 30s living off 2 minute noodles and other peoples cooking...
I never got the appeal of spending time putting a meal together. Never saw myself as someone who would seek out a recipe based on an ingredient I wanted to include in my diet....
Suddenly, undeniably, I get it. All because of my fertility challenges and what I have learnt about nutrition.
This discovery made me think about what else I've gained from my fertility struggles:
I'm so in tune with my body and femininity.
I've spent so much time punishing my body, viewing it as broken - too fat, too skinny, too this, too that. I never really had a good relationship with it - indifferent at times maybe.
My body let me know in lots of ways that somethings were NQR. Digestive issues, allergies, colds, fertility problems, but I wasn't listening.
As a young women fertility wasn't on my mind, periods were annoying, pregnancy was to be avoided! Now I appreciate what an amazing thing it is to be a woman, and what our bodies can do.
Funnily enough at a time when I could view my body at its most broken, I've never been prouder, or in more awe of it.
I have a better understanding of nutrition and environmental factors, and how they impact your whole life.
I've always had a strange relationship with food, and I feel like for the first time I understand it. It's fascinating!
Its also liberating - no more fads, yo-yoing or punishing myself! The proof is something I see and feel daily - in my eyes, skin, hair, nails, allergies, mood.
It's helped me clarify who I am
Fertility challenges can send you into the wilderness of your sense of self-worth.
I've learnt a lot about myself, what/who is important to me in life, what I am really passionate about. I've discovered how strong I am - I respect myself a lot more.
I'm more aware, more accepting of those imperfections that make me, me!
Its helped me find value in the stillness of life.
A massive shift in my life is the addition of yoga and meditation. Previously these things were on my "why would I do that??" list. I have a busy mind and struggled to slow it down. I found it hard to face myself at that level and accept who I was.
Now I crave it - time on my yoga mat or a quiet space to check in connecting mind, body and spirit. It recharges me, keeps me level.
The community and friendships I've built.
There is no denying that owing to my fertility challenges I've made friends from all walks of life that I would have never crossed paths with before.
I've formed some beautiful friendships, shared such intimate parts of my life with, and drawn inspiration from amazing women all over the world!
I've celebrated successes, grieved losses with, and been supported by this wonderfully enriching community - and that is definitely a blessing!
While I wouldn't wish this on anyone, I have to admit that my fertility challenges in a lot of ways have changed me for the better.
Has anyone else found this? I'd love to hear about some of the good things that have come from your fertility journey!!