Fertility challenges are going to knock you down, no doubt about it. Probably harder than ever before. It leaves us with a choice - we can stay down....or we can can get up and say I'm not going out like this!! Infertility, its time for me to knock you down!!!!
The first year of our challenges I had that fire in my belly. For the most part I was motivated, positive, using my frustration as fuel to move forward.
Then I had a year of big blows - pregnancy losses and the loss of my ability to have children naturally. Well played infertility, you bought me to my knees.
It seemed that infertility had finally beaten me. The fire in my belly had gone out. Emotional eating and self- punishment came in. Exercise and enjoyment went out.
It all seemed too much. How much could I put myself through physically and emotionally in the pursuit of this dream? I started to question my WHY.
I tried to convince myself that maybe this didn't matter to me, that it was ok to just stop now. I'd given it a good crack right??
Then I'd hold a friend's newborn baby....
The tiny delicateness, that smell. My WHY would whisper to me, its primal instinct - I want one of those.
The fire was not out, the embers were still burning. They just needed some stoking, some kindling, some care.
Coming back from face down on the ground is never easy. For me it started with going from a place of apathy to one of annoyance. This was not the version of myself I wanted to be, it was not how I see myself.
My conscious mind was whispering to me to stay down. Its safe down here, you can't fail, you can't lose.
I needed some grit and determination to fight that, and there is nothing better than feeling PO'd to bring that to the party!
But anger isn't a great place to be either - it might be the spark that lights the ignition, but to be sustainable the power to go forward needs to come from a good place - love, hope, belief.
Its easy to feel great, to do things 'right' when the going is good. The trick to winning the fight is finding ways to hold true to those positive emotions and strategies when the going gets tough.
Much easier said than done!!
Here is my guide to doing just that:
Use Your WHY
What is this all really for?? This needs to drive you, be in your mind, your heart and your actions every day. Write about it, talk about it, meditate on it, make a vision board - get it in all of your senses. WHY's can change, they can evolve and that is ok but it is important to always be clear on why you want what you want.
Choose To Come From A Place Of LOVE!
Love yourself above all. Build in comfort and support to nurture and carry you through the tougher times. Be grateful for what you have, and express gratitude for the things you want as though you already have them.
Research shows that 8 weeks of regular meditation can actually change your brain. People who meditate are more likely to be happier throughout the day no matter what comes up. Use this to visualise success, release fears and de-stress.
Do Something That Can't Help But Make You Smile!
For me its as simple as a swing in a park or a bounce on a trampoline - I love that freedom of feeling like I'm sailing through the air. It makes feel carefree, light and reminds me that you can find joy in the smallest things in life.
What are your tips for fighting back in your fertility struggles?